I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
A bitchslap is in order.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
