Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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