They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
