my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
