yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
