All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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