Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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