This is not my ceiling
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
