ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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