I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
