I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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