I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
