This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
