proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
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