I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
