hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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