Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
