He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
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