it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
