You work out of a Hotel?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
