The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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