New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
