I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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