he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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