You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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