Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
