So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
