If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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