i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Randomize
