Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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