I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
