I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
