i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize