Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
