Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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