i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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