I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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