Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
