Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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