I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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