Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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