Why does Corona taste like a burp?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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