You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
