**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Randomize
