So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
