people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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