it hurts more in the daytime
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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