I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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