I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
