It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
